When you live and breathe horses, it’s easy for riding to become everything. It shapes your day, your goals, your energy, even how you see yourself.
But what happens when things don’t go to plan? When your horse is injured, your confidence dips, or life gets in the way of riding as often as you’d like?
That’s what I explore in this week’s episode of The Neil Foster Rider Mindset Podcast – More Than Your Riding: Identity Beyond the Saddle.
It’s an honest, uplifting conversation about rediscovering who you are beyond the yard, with practical mindset tools, NLP techniques, and a guided visualisation to help you feel whole again.
So, grab a cuppa (or your mucking-out fork!), and let’s dive into some of the key takeaways from this 15 minute deep-dive into rider mindset and identity.
The “Equestrian Identity Trap”
Many riders tell me, “I just don’t feel like myself when I’m not riding.”
Sound familiar?
This is what I call the Equestrian Identity Trap, when who you are becomes tangled up with what you do in the saddle.
It starts innocently. Horses bring joy, structure, and purpose to our lives. But when your sense of self depends on your last ride, it can lead to emotional ups and downs.
If your round went well, you’re flying. If it didn’t, your confidence crashes.
Here’s something I want you to remember.
You are not your riding.
You are you, and riding is something you do.
Try this as an affirmation after a tough session:
“I am more than my riding.”
Say it out loud. Breathe it in. Let it remind you that your worth doesn’t depend on results, ribbons, or other people’s opinions.
How Your Thoughts Shape Your Confidence
From a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) perspective, our thoughts create our emotions, and our emotions influence our actions.
If your inner voice says, “I’m only good when I ride well,” every mistake becomes proof you’re not enough.
But if you challenge that thought and reframe it, you take back control.
Try this mindset shift:
Change “I failed that jump; I’m useless.”
to
“That jump didn’t go as planned, but it’s just one moment, it doesn’t define me.”
Your horse doesn’t love you for your results. They feel your energy, your consistency, your care. That’s what matters most, and it’s something you can always control.
The “Identity Audit” Rediscovering Who You Are
Here’s a simple but powerful exercise you can try right now. I call it the Identity Audit.
Grab a notebook or open your notes app.
Write the words “I am…”
Complete that sentence at least ten times – without mentioning horses.
Examples:
I am kind.
I am resilient.
I am curious.
I am a good friend.
This simple reflection helps your brain (and your Reticular Activating System) look for evidence of who you are beyond the yard.
In NLP terms, you’re expanding your “map of the world”, bringing more colour, variety, and self-connection back into your life.
You’re not leaving your equestrian identity behind; you’re simply adding more depth to who you already are.
NLP Anchoring - Reconnecting With Your True Self
Want a quick tool to regain balance and calm after a tough ride?
Try this NLP anchoring technique, a simple gesture that helps you reconnect with your confident, grounded self.
Think of a moment when you felt totally you, relaxed, happy, at ease.
Picture it clearly: colours, sounds, sensations.
When that feeling is strongest, lightly press your thumb and middle finger together.
Repeat a few times to strengthen the connection.
Now, whenever you feel self-doubt creeping in, use that same gesture.
It tells your subconscious: “I’m safe, I’m balanced, and I know who I am.”
Guided Visualisation - “You, The Whole Rider”
In the episode, I take you through a calming visualisation designed to help you reconnect with your horse, and yourself.
Close your eyes and imagine walking towards your horse in the early morning light. You feel their warmth, their breath, their quiet strength.
Now picture a soft, golden light surrounding you both. That light represents you, the rider, the friend, the learner, the dreamer, the whole person.
Let it remind you that your value isn’t earned through performance; it’s already there within you.
Breathe deeply and repeat:
“I am more than my riding. I am whole.”
Daily Habits to Stay Grounded
Here are three simple ways to integrate these ideas into your everyday life:
Start your day with “I am” statements.
Before you check your phone or tack up, remind yourself:
“I am enough. I am learning. I am more than my riding.”Celebrate non-riding wins.
Did you handle a tough workday gracefully? Help a friend? Those moments count.Surround yourself with reminders.
Write on a sticky note for your tack room mirror:
“You are more than your last ride.”
Your horse deserves a happy, balanced rider, and you deserve to feel whole and confident every single day.
If this message resonates with you, tune in to the full episode of The Neil Foster Rider Mindset Podcast – More Than Your Riding: Identity Beyond the Saddle.
It’s a heartfelt, practical guide to rediscovering your confidence and identity, with NLP, CBT, and guided visualisation techniques you can use straight away.
Listen now:
Apple Podcasts – More Than Your Riding
Spotify – More Than Your Riding
And if you’d love to be part of a supportive equestrian community, join our free Rider Mindset Facebook Group — a space for riders who want to grow, connect, and build unshakable confidence together.
Join the Rider Mindset Community
Remember, no matter how your last ride went…
You are more than your riding.